Friday, August 28, 2009

Sitting, waiting, wishing...

That is probably one of my favorite songs. Jack Johnson, in case you're wondering. The video is awesome, too. It's filmed in reverse. Here's a link to the video on you tube.

This title is an accurate depiction of how I feel at this very moment.

I am sitting here. Obviously.

But more importantly, I am theoretically sitting here, too. Sitting in life. Stalled out. No opportunity for opportunities to advance my careers--my health insurance day job nor my photographic moonlight job. Zero chance of being able to sell my house (if I wanted to) and not actually lose money. My husband is still unemployed. So, here I sit. Waiting.

Waiting for what? Well, several things, actually. The most exciting thing is my child's birthday party. It is scheduled for tomorrow at a local park. I have lots of family in town that we haven't seen since May.

The next most exciting thing is... well, the Air Force. Now I know you're probably sitting there, scratching your head and wondering WTH and where did that come from? Well, it came from many months of thinking about what *I* could do to change my current "seated" position. So I have decided to apply for Officer's Training School (OTS) to be an Officer in the United States Air Force.

Since my husband has been unemployed for so long, I have become a very pro-active individual. This is not to say I have just started being pro-active. oh, no. I have always been such; however, now, it's manifested itself into serious crunch time. Get it done or get out, kind of change.

Here is how I look at my situation:
I grew up an Army brat. Hindsight is 20/20. Looking back at my life as a teenager living in Germany, I realize those are some of THE most awesome days of my life. I would never change that opportunity because is sculpted the person I have become today.

My husband could certainly benefit from the discipline of the military; however, he does not have a degree and he is 35. The Air Force requires commissioned officers be commissioned prior to their 35th birthday and have at least a Bachelor's degree. So, if he were to join as an enlisted (E-1) his base pay would be slightly less that $17000.00 a year. Frankly, that is not enough for us to survive off of, much less be able to live. Ok, fine... He would also get housing allowance, and other benefits; such as: free health insurance for all of us, free trips all over the world, etc. However... and here's the drawback... I would have to quit my job. Granted, that is what I am considering anyway (aside from the Air Force); however, I would be forced to quit a good paying job for possibly nothing. With the national unemployment numbers as they are, I would be absolutely stupid to do that considering I'd have a great chance of not finding a job with the pay I am currently earning.

This bring me to my next point(s):
I have a degree and I am less than 35. My husband is already unemployed, so there would be no job for him to quit. As an O-1, I would be earning nearly double what he would as an E-1. Additionally, O-1 salary is about $2000/annually more than I currently earn, add on to that the housing allowance, dependent pay, etc... and I could be making nearly $60k a year (depending on the location we get stationed). That's my salary and my husband's (required salary) combined.

Yes. I know there are draw backs...remember, I grew up as an Army brat. We were station in Germany when the wall fell and when the first gulf war started. My father was never deployed, thankfully, but he could have been, easily. And it's something we had to deal with, daily. I know being in the Air Force (or any branch of the military) means I will have to spend a great deal of time away from my family. I do not like that part at all. However, being deployed for a job that is helping to support my family vs one that has rejected me for promotions time and time again seems like a better solution than staying in a dead end job longer than necessary.

And this brings me to the wishing part of my life. The only thing that is standing in my way of getting selected for a slot at OTS is my weight. Granted I am in relatively good health--someone might look at me and say, "Oh, she could lose a few pounds, but she's not fat." Well, the AF has a weight limit. And I need to lose 15 pounds, legally and morally, QUICK. I've hit the gym everyday (except Sundays) for the past 2 weeks. I have not changed the way I eat--2 veggies, 2 fruits, 3 proteins, low carb/fat; therefore, with all the running and weight training, you would think I would have lost 10 pounds already. Yes, I know muscles weighs more than fat; however, I walk/run 6 miles a week and I do light weights with lots of reps. I'm wishing this weight would come off quicker. So, WTH?

I doubt very seriously I will change my mind. The Air Force might decide for me; however, I won't change my mind. I will work my behind off at the gym, cut carbs, cut fats, etc... to lose this weight.

In addition to the CFE I am supposed to be studying for in my current day job, add to it now the AFOQT, Air Force Officer's Qualification Test.

Don't wish me luck... I need a miracle.

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